That Bling Factor

For all those bright shiny things…

Who strive for perfection
O that Bling
Bundle up your big fat belly and Shu-shhhhhh
For bygones are bygones; no one's ever gonna remember your aura
For your time's crumbling to stardust; no one's ever gonna see you or remember your aura
Oh that Bling factor, that mighty bling
X-mas trees, champagne, oil-lamps, hallucinogens, opium, color pyramids
Sure, they are all yours; But only for that much longer
before reality hits you flat on your nose
Oh that mighty Bling
Weep over your pillow, let out an orgasmic sigh followed by sweet, yellow liquor
O dear that Bling, that Bling factor


***written on March 1st  2014***

VERSUS Text (for Sulk Station's track, Contentment)

This is something that I wrote after collaborating with Avril Stormy Unger of "The Storm Factory" (Bangalore) and the music band "Sulk Station" (Bangalore) as part of VERSUS. This was written specifically to complement one of Sulk Station's original tracks, Contentment and was presented in recitation format, live. The text came to life after discussions with the choreographer, Avril, and her inputs,feelings and thoughts on the track- Contentment

What are You
Why is the time
Do you not sleep her coffee
Do you forgive and fall
Can you not completely collide
When you ran off ecstasy
Why didn't you c
Why didn't you c
WHY DIDN'T YOU C

 Which angle of freedom are you baffling me with
 Which are you trying to be, why you are really not
 How don't you c ; How don't you c
Won't you plead and plunder
Won't you predict my penniless pocket
Whose alibi are you
Where did the abyss arise
Can you count those countless cans of secrets
Did you eat your burnt soul
Will you walk my dream
How much and why not ; How much and why not
Fill your insides with my ego's blood
When will you succumb from your slithering skin

 Who played and purges his plate
Why are your eyes empty
Won't you please pause and freeze
When you are outlawed and outrageous
For your time has not begun, from the very beginning
From the very beginning
Why don't you box my eardrums
Where did your innocence run away
 Where Was She


 ***VERSUS was performed and premiered at B-flat, Indranagar , Bangalore on Jan 8th 2014*** Sulk Station- Rahul Giri and Tanvi Rao
The Storm Factory-
Avril Stormy Unger : choreography, direction and movement
Archana Kumar: movement (& recitation for 1 track)
Aranyani B : movement

The Residency

The Residency Ok,so this is my first one. I'm obviously no expert. I decide to apply to this one only because it looked promising in terms of the support they were going to be providing for the chosen choreographer- Light designer, Sound designer, Mentoring for feedback and finally a 'public performance' opportunity. Superb! And Im excited about the 'result'. Post application, 3 months go by and I assume it probably wasn't me or they are still contemplating because typically for any residency an artist applies to, you'd normally get an email and always an email if its a no-no. But, to my surprise I get a phone call from the Indian collaborating organization to get ready to go to Seoul! All my bags packed, I'm welcomed by a single administration employee at the airport. This is my VERY first trip to Seoul, my VERY first residency ever. I arrive at the Art Space/Center and get introduced to another employee who had been my main contact person (email). Its about 8:30PM and both of them seem tired, AND its a Friday; time to go home! I understand and overlook the rather hurried and flustered 'tour' of the center since this is where I'll be for the next 2 months (where I can cook, where the stove, microwave, rice cooker the washing machine, restrooms, shower etc since all instructions are in Korean) The first week goes by smoothly. I'm allowed to use one of the three beautiful dance rehearsal studios ONLY 4 hours each day. I let go of this rule enforced upon an international artist resident who's actually living here (i.e.24 hrs). Mid second week, I begin to wonder when exactly would they introduce me to the chosen mentors and the sound designer/composer. But then its been only about 10 days and they are probably giving me a good chunk of time to come up with new material, develop the skeletal structure of this brand new piece since all this certainly takes time.Right? I let go my mind each day and improvise and start building my new piece. Since no one has introduced me to any other dancer/choreographer I assume I must work on a Solo. Great! Finally end of second week, I receive an email from my contact person here, who in my understanding asks me to be ready to 'present' informally what I have developed so far .Exactly 16 days later I have a lot of material (having spent 4 hrs earnestly everyday to create the movement and the concept) and am asked to 'present' only about 15 min and talk and discuss the rest of the designated 1 hour. Presentation goes well,I say -' i envision this as a solo primarily, but am looking for artists from any genre such as visual art, media, sculpting AND ofcourse the promised sound artist to collaborate and 'support' this new concept/project of mine'. Translations happen , everyone is silent. I gather that the remaining 10 resident artists are ALL Korean, of which 6 are also choreographer/dancers in house and 4 are visual/video artists. I am the only international artist here! Not complaining here, but the rather cold(?) and non-communicative behavior from the center's office for the first 3 weeks seemed on one hand quite odd and on the other, seemed their way of expressing non-intrusion and politeness (Hey, I'm no expert in Korean culture & etiquette!). Brand new country and I use my tour guide book to figure out the train system (very neat & cool) and the bus system (not cool , most places only written in Korean) and what to eat. But for the first 3 weeks I just cooked at the center's kitchen and ate in loneliness, except for 1 chance encounter (the day after I arrived) in the kitchen with 1 of the resident artist's group who were also cooking and sweetly invited me! My questions and requests are: 1) For someone who's arriving from another country with completely different systems and culture (though as an Indian there is always a LOT of similarities with other Asian cultures), I believe the administration of that Art Center is responsible and completely in charge of developing possible connections with other artists locally, only to start off! Certainly no one likes to be baby-sitter! 2)There was expectation from the funding organizations (the Indian and the Korean ones who selected me) that the artist independently must reach out, knock doors and establish connections, greatly hoping for a collaborative outcome. How is this even feasible (though I'm always up for challenges), when the local resident artists themselves haven't had the comfort and/or courage to knock on the other artist's door to start talking! For me, I really felt lost. Every instruction, information was given only in Korean. Few times I asked random artists locally what something meant, sometimes it was successful as they were comfortable in English translation. I emailed the administration a few times to gather information , but those few times I did, I was made to feel like 'now is not the right time, or now is not a good time to ask us. We are very busy. Please do not disturb' ! So I'm back to being alone 3)When the inviting organizations choose a choreographer/dancer, I believe it is lot more important to understand this genre completely and the requirements if they are particular of a collaborative outcome. Yes, for any 2 artistic genres to meet, the environment has to be warm, stress free, comfortable, open and comfortable.Much of this was absent for me. It was sheer luck /miracle that one of the local artists I bumped into turned out being a good friend of someone (another Korean artist-painter) who was my boyfriend's college mate 20 years ago! That sustained connection between my boyfriend & Korean painter , helped me getting closer to this resident artist (also a dancer/choreographer)and finally I've managed to establish a positive connection for possible future collaboration. But, are we expected to rely on such types of luck/miracles? 4)Finally, my application 'contract' (as it is termed in Korea) clearly stated what kinds of support would be provided to the chosen Indian choreographer. Why wasn't this read clearly by the funding and selecting organizations, committees and all the people involved? Because of 1 slip, there seemed to be a tremendous domino effect of misunderstandings, tense and sharp email exchanges, stressful phone conversations and so on. This could have been easily avoided with foresight and clean planning. In my understanding, all these organizations involved would have been happiest if I just 'adjusted' and 'went with the flow' and accepted any alternate outcomes. If I had not sent that important email (3 weeks into my residency) to the local folks showing them my actual pdf application file, they would never have realized what I was asking or understood my predicament. Thus, it is extremely important that more than 1 individual proof reads a contract application to avoid such unpleasant and dramatic surprises. I'm still unsure who's fault it was, really. The Indian organization involved tells me the overseas organization clearly had all* the information and they did not pay attention. And the overseas staff at the center here, claim they "never received" my contract application which stated the criteria and what must be provided. I was told I'm the 'guinea pig'; their first ever Indian artist within the genre of dance/choreography to be part of this International residency program as the hope is to build stronger , positive relations between these 2 countries. If I terminated (which i contemplated several times ) , it would have certainly created lot more tensions and black marks. As an artist, I decided to finish what I came for irrespective of the treatment I'm facing and the lonely situation I'm in. The studio I've been asked to stay is actually a 'work studio' . It has a grey , industrious feel; certainly not a warm homely touch; out of the 12 resident artists, only 2 or 3 others actually live here and theirs is also occasional. There have been times when I've been the only person in this huge center (apart from the security guard)! Its winter time; I have no control over the heating system because the center is government funded and they determine the in-house ideal temperatures! Yet, I feel blessed because for the very first time I got to rehearse in these huge, beautiful studios with proper dance flooring and mirrors. Happier note- The residency ended with the promised 'public performance' at the first rehearsal studio that converted itself into a performance space. Neat, intimate and so quiet! The Qn A session was fruitful as well. I truly hope to be part of another longer residency that permits lot more interactions and healthy, warm atmospheres that allow liberal flows of collaborations, communications and creations.

No Boundaries

Based upon my recent solo work, No boundaries is about water, water embryos, dancing embryos.It goes beyond that. Inspired by the sound of waterfalls, it is about transformation, re-construction and de-construction
70% of us, of our world is water. Energy as liquid, is possible based upon my experiences.
Playful , comfortably residing embryos inside a water body. No water, no life , no us.
It is perhaps my quest to understand the truth about the very beginning.. We'll never know. No Boundaries is my understanding of it.

Trip to guilt-land

On my way back at Lon-Heathrow airport, i had this immense urge to buy a fancy flavorful perfum. Oh but my feminine spirit led me on inch by inch as I finally stumbled upon Chanel o'5. Its not my fault now is it?!
There they were, standing poised , emotionless. She offered a quick whiff and the feeling was divine as her vapours melted through every pore of my nose and skin. Tick -Tick-Tick .. What's the damage?
I walked out sheepishly with my new friend worth precisely $82.56 who was obviously anything but thrilled to have her new mistress ; I was left with stomach cringes and repeated throat gulps...

In me

Confined; screaming walls; traffic light dead-ends; frozen excitement... A plight indeed..
transparent cup brewing with hot green tea, soothes momentarily. A pattern is born that urges to blossom. Today, of course I am going to allow it to take over. it is my little experiment, that will last only until I decide to turn off the main switch. Until then it is: Action 1 at 7 AM , Action 2 at 8 AM Action 3 at ... 4 at... ... etc etc... Action 20 at 11:30 PM --- END---
A cyclic motion and life goes on
I order myself to find creative patterns within my temporary 1-tracked mind


******

என்னோடு மாமா

Every year for 2 months my sister and I, flew to Bombay, not thoroughly enjoying the googy mix of mud and water everywhere. He'd sometimes carry me on his shoulders to avoid my pretty little toe nails getting filled with the brown mix.
We'd run around, tease him, irritate him, wake him up, poke him, mess around and he was just oddly silent. I'd always think, why is he so reserved. There was a sense of curiosity to always want to 'know' what he's all about. My mysterious mama...
Never close to the family, heart of gold; always enjoyed a powerful status. Ever loving professor of Mathematics, his true passion for teaching was always felt and seen by his peers and students.
Suddenly one Summer we stopped seeing him during those months we visited India. Why? In the last 10 years we all knew he was fighting several health conditions.
I will never understand why he chose to live the way he did; but I guess it was a conscious choice and perhaps he was truely content and preferred a short and sweet life. Could we tell? Did he know? Was this all planned by him??
We always talked about him. He was my mother's mentor. She loved him and respected him to a great extent, I could tell. She'd always tell us(my twin sis and I) stories about the things he taught her.
A peculier man- You will always be remembered.............

Closed minds

Off late I've been reading about these various stories in rural Indian villages about 'abnormal' babies being born and them being considered GOD. I think: must one become that weird physically to be considered special or with 'supernatural' powers? I am appalled! My own people, how can we throw some practical light into these poor, simple souls?
A kid with 2 heads, conjoined kids, that looks like one body with 8 limbs, are supposedly incarnations of the Hndu mythalogical goddess of destruction -Kali
I would like to somehow reach out spreading awareness about these rare medical conditions which can be fatal for the little child. In the most recent news of the '2 headed girl child' , her 23 year old father , comments undisturbed , infact quite happy, that they really don't need to seek medical aid as her daughter is responding normally to everything.
Anybody, is there a way we could spread awareness into these villages that these are all normal kids with a severe physical deformity and congenital twins develop so many health issues as they grow up. How would they meet the demands and the medical needs of these kids through the years? Just allow them to rot to death and, call upon the name of "GOD" that it was just meant to be like this.. HOW convenient eh?

Kidnapping Waters

In the process with music/composer Byron Au Yong
I am thirsty .. I am SO thristy.. I am... Leave me all alone. Tears dried up.
All that remains are salt patches. I dust em off..
I need to consume 8 glasses a day!
An open faucet at my will. How delightful! I am content

Sunset

crisp white sand melts through my toes, the comfortably cold feel beneath my soles.
It was a picture perfect moment.. I stood there and in the center in front of me, a distant bright red dot, sank down silently. I dance with the water and the wind making random shapes in the sand and I'm sprinkled with cool salty water that swept off my feet to save it from a jelly-fish's sting.. so perfect.
Does this paradise really exist?
Just as the sun sank down, my heart melts inside with a single gaze into that pair of caramel tinted hypnotizing circles... I can gaze into them forever and I've my perfect sunset moment again.....

Game of Chess

OOO how exciting!!! each of us are these lil pawns scurring around . Ever so strategically _ hops onto the squares, blinded by two halogen 1000 watt bulbs shining in front of the house. Only one knight, only one horse, only one swan, only one king, queen..
You finally witness... ahh queezy feelings and countless "if only"....
I am comfortable. This should not end, let this be my never ending chess-game: My move-ur move-my move -ur move ... and then_____ our move? My knight, my pawn, my bishop, my king, my queen all have multiple options to move ahead to its destination; must I choose my destination?
Complexities mixed in a bowl of quite obvious simplicities.. oh c'mon, else everything's so boring!

She unveils

I question why me. WHY ME?
I call upon Mama, give me strength, and I hear her say ," you can do it, everything will be o.k."
I want to cherish it, I want to hide it and I show off something else
There are reasons i guess, and I should allow all that is happening to happen as it IS meant to be..
I am sad..
Yet, I am secretly happy..
They come to me for answers.. I love it! Oh But who will asnwer my questions, my wishes... I thought I knew.
They are so oblivious of their impact to thy's existance, thy's mind.
Ah but I MUST unveil...........

The Silent Warrior

In this battle field, I fought relentlessly, yet with full intention and passion. I shall not let it be...
I admit, he is selfish.
I admit, she loves every human she connects with, with equal desire to have them in her space.
I admit, he is blunt.
I admit, she is not insecure.
I admit, he always gives, gives, gives......
I admit
I was your silent warrior
.
.
.
.
.
.
In exhaustion, the mind finally relaxes with pride as she witnesses them surrender....

Have I 'won'?
I was your silent warrior.

Timing

I wait and listen, and ponder.
Listen to what? Choices one makes consciously. I have always said I control decisions and changes I make to my life, but what is it that makes me choose those things? Its quite unbelievable to me that what was not meant to happen in my life, WILL not happen. Yes, I' lean towards fate.. I smile in glee with faint sparkles in my eye..
LIFE- soo thrilling, so much to learn , all of you out there, we learn and understand from each other..
Perhaps one day you might realize what you missed, I hope that day never exists....
I wish them good luck__

LIFE is too short. My advice, my belief, follow your instinct & desire with complete awareness and you shall not be disappointed.

Distance-I love mah sis

Together from that very moment we were created.. 2 eggs rolling around this secure world, and it continued. With her, life has felt like a rollar coaster.. we shared energy. We fought so much.
Suddenly I am distant.
Finally everything feels right and appropriate. Darn it! It should have been this way all along! Am I the older one just coz I got to c the world 1 minute more??? I see her NEW world, Ooh gosh its sooo cool, Im sooo soo excited for her!
Ah but ofcourse, and so became the 'risk taker', the one who rebels.. who taught and tried everything before she trots in to "check" it out.. Oh I love my dear sis- you smarty pants.
When i was exploring x y x a dv c s..... there she was silently watching & doing her own thing, alone. Was she waiting for me to pick up the phone and talk to her??
So at ease with her solitude, her sole existance.. It gotta be genetic, she nailed it at birth! And through my journey I see every one around me struggling to get there... *sigh*
I'm finally nailing it . Whew!
I have a huge happy grin, large 'saucer' eyes welled with salty h2o and endless memories as I begin to..... zzz..

My love to you always

To Jacob

Stout, warm, strong, muscular,funny, blonde, cute.. for some odd reason his face flashed through my sub-conscious mind approx 2-3 weeks ago as I was trying hard to recollect his name. Now as I look back, was my mind trying to tell me something??
I finally saw just his name, Jake as he was called affectionately,only pictures and the scent of lavender oil burning next to them with a note 'his last breath was 2 weeks ago'
Since 2000, we've danced here and there through classes, Cornish, workshops.. and one day I stopped seeing him in class. I always remembered him. Its funny how some people create an impact in some odd way in your life. I would never want anyone so young get cursed with diebetes,,,
In loving memory, Dear Jake-whereever you might be, I believe you are happiest there....

That ball of energy

From somewhere, somehow I bumped into this terrific thing that I got pulled towards as if this giant vacuum gulping its quota of air for that sec (its basic survival instinct I guess!) Its second= my womanly human time = about 6 mo. What was I doing????? What was I thinking?????
Oh boy, so many exciting ventures..... I always believe: Life is short, u got ONE life to live, live it to the fullest..
Ha, I was ready..
That fiery ball of energy, so vibrant in its own way. To my eyes, the msg to my brain would be "Wow"! If one encounters such a thing, would it be o.k. to hold onto to it as if it were your most priced possession...well obv I was the first to find it now, wasent I? *sniff sniff* * Tears well up*
This energy bouncing around me, my space, my time, playing games???
Ahhhh perhaps I'll find it again, rather I so desperately, wish to create and explore everything with it!
Oh I scream , Read my mind, read my mind, read my mind!
Ah, Life aint that simple now. Patience, tolerance; but, but, but.. what if_______ Aha! That scary blank oozing with insecurities... sometimes I want to imagine- in fact that IS the trick.. re-create anything you'd desire in your mind. The power of the mind- infinite possibilities

Never know whats in store, let go? Dont let go Let go? Dont let go Let go........... I feel like flying away into and through that vaccum.
Om

Minamina poochee

Felt like sharing this spectacular moment I witnessed 2 evenings ago for the first time. I will always come back to my fascination to evolution and nature's creations. Whatever is out there can be considered by far the supreme king of creativity.. and here I am meekly cranking my nerve cells to tell my body to converse, explore, create boldly and freely......
Bzzzz... they flutter at an even pace. Random specs of bright green dots fading in and out into oblivion. clear sky, lush velvet floor spreading infinitely. Fresh smell of mud. I was performing within. The set was just perfect.
And then an hr later, I want to replicate that what I experienced in my theatre setting.
What you feel at the moment is almost impossible to regenerate. Actors would beg to differ. yea yea, yea.
In this unique setting, I play with Confinement. Open space, the bright green, moving dots light my performing space. You see only what you can, only what you wish, only what you'd like to.
Vision as a mode of confinement. To allow the eye to grasp max information within a specified time frame, aids the mind to work with choosing what is more imp to retain at that particular moment.

Oh dear MinMina poochee where do you come from?

Exploring C...

bells and feet in a conversation with each other. Brisk and soft, in constant rhythm
That one song is stuck in my head: such a lovely song and I can see Bridget with her lovely almond shaped eyes move ...
There is a melodic dialogue between the 2 female voices right here, in the corner.
Percussive legs support the aura being created...
At the end of it all, I always ask,what is the ulterior motif to doing whatever we want to do. Here I am so drawn to the concept and idea of C. Why? Circumstances, experiences that drives us all to focus on certain things at certain stages of our lives.
Is confinement a perception? a state? Contentment to confinement: Oh ofocourse it is possible. Its the choices you make perhaps?
melting vs frozen, tar-like. Energy confined within each cell, provides disciplined functioning of the body.
'Contain your energy' helps you to reach a stable state.

Confined to light: shadows of green, blue, red. I am engaged in a playful game almost with the rays of colored light. Only parts of the body awaken to each light. Evokes mixed feelings.. I have to expt with it to figure it out..

Nine'9

nAVARASAs
... ... ... lives
''''''''' deaths
///////// births
Its 3PM and my mind is bouncing around with evenness. Thoughts about Mehfil flash through. Something felt incomplete. Thats how I'm 'wired' ha! I chuckled. Hmmm I-90 seemed very calm, 9 cars whiz past me. Am I that slow??
In sets of 3 I re-visit the newly composed teehayis I just made at Noon. Today feels fruitful...
I ended with 9 + 9 sets + 4 more laps
There's something about 9. I'm planning on something very random, to explore the concept of 9. All of a sudden, nine colors, 9 bodies, 9 emotions intertwined with my favorite nine Raagas.

Is this number it..?