Together from that very moment we were created.. 2 eggs rolling around this secure world, and it continued. With her, life has felt like a rollar coaster.. we shared energy. We fought so much.
Suddenly I am distant.
Finally everything feels right and appropriate. Darn it! It should have been this way all along! Am I the older one just coz I got to c the world 1 minute more??? I see her NEW world, Ooh gosh its sooo cool, Im sooo soo excited for her!
Ah but ofcourse, and so became the 'risk taker', the one who rebels.. who taught and tried everything before she trots in to "check" it out.. Oh I love my dear sis- you smarty pants.
When i was exploring x y x a dv c s..... there she was silently watching & doing her own thing, alone. Was she waiting for me to pick up the phone and talk to her??
So at ease with her solitude, her sole existance.. It gotta be genetic, she nailed it at birth! And through my journey I see every one around me struggling to get there... *sigh*
I'm finally nailing it . Whew!
I have a huge happy grin, large 'saucer' eyes welled with salty h2o and endless memories as I begin to..... zzz..
My love to you always
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
To Jacob
Stout, warm, strong, muscular,funny, blonde, cute.. for some odd reason his face flashed through my sub-conscious mind approx 2-3 weeks ago as I was trying hard to recollect his name. Now as I look back, was my mind trying to tell me something??
I finally saw just his name, Jake as he was called affectionately,only pictures and the scent of lavender oil burning next to them with a note 'his last breath was 2 weeks ago'
Since 2000, we've danced here and there through classes, Cornish, workshops.. and one day I stopped seeing him in class. I always remembered him. Its funny how some people create an impact in some odd way in your life. I would never want anyone so young get cursed with diebetes,,,
In loving memory, Dear Jake-whereever you might be, I believe you are happiest there....
I finally saw just his name, Jake as he was called affectionately,only pictures and the scent of lavender oil burning next to them with a note 'his last breath was 2 weeks ago'
Since 2000, we've danced here and there through classes, Cornish, workshops.. and one day I stopped seeing him in class. I always remembered him. Its funny how some people create an impact in some odd way in your life. I would never want anyone so young get cursed with diebetes,,,
In loving memory, Dear Jake-whereever you might be, I believe you are happiest there....
Monday, July 16, 2007
That ball of energy
From somewhere, somehow I bumped into this terrific thing that I got pulled towards as if this giant vacuum gulping its quota of air for that sec (its basic survival instinct I guess!) Its second= my womanly human time = about 6 mo. What was I doing????? What was I thinking?????
Oh boy, so many exciting ventures..... I always believe: Life is short, u got ONE life to live, live it to the fullest..
Ha, I was ready..
That fiery ball of energy, so vibrant in its own way. To my eyes, the msg to my brain would be "Wow"! If one encounters such a thing, would it be o.k. to hold onto to it as if it were your most priced possession...well obv I was the first to find it now, wasent I? *sniff sniff* * Tears well up*
This energy bouncing around me, my space, my time, playing games???
Ahhhh perhaps I'll find it again, rather I so desperately, wish to create and explore everything with it!
Oh I scream , Read my mind, read my mind, read my mind!
Ah, Life aint that simple now. Patience, tolerance; but, but, but.. what if_______ Aha! That scary blank oozing with insecurities... sometimes I want to imagine- in fact that IS the trick.. re-create anything you'd desire in your mind. The power of the mind- infinite possibilities
Never know whats in store, let go? Dont let go Let go? Dont let go Let go........... I feel like flying away into and through that vaccum.
Om
Oh boy, so many exciting ventures..... I always believe: Life is short, u got ONE life to live, live it to the fullest..
Ha, I was ready..
That fiery ball of energy, so vibrant in its own way. To my eyes, the msg to my brain would be "Wow"! If one encounters such a thing, would it be o.k. to hold onto to it as if it were your most priced possession...well obv I was the first to find it now, wasent I? *sniff sniff* * Tears well up*
This energy bouncing around me, my space, my time, playing games???
Ahhhh perhaps I'll find it again, rather I so desperately, wish to create and explore everything with it!
Oh I scream , Read my mind, read my mind, read my mind!
Ah, Life aint that simple now. Patience, tolerance; but, but, but.. what if_______ Aha! That scary blank oozing with insecurities... sometimes I want to imagine- in fact that IS the trick.. re-create anything you'd desire in your mind. The power of the mind- infinite possibilities
Never know whats in store, let go? Dont let go Let go? Dont let go Let go........... I feel like flying away into and through that vaccum.
Om
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Minamina poochee
Felt like sharing this spectacular moment I witnessed 2 evenings ago for the first time. I will always come back to my fascination to evolution and nature's creations. Whatever is out there can be considered by far the supreme king of creativity.. and here I am meekly cranking my nerve cells to tell my body to converse, explore, create boldly and freely......
Bzzzz... they flutter at an even pace. Random specs of bright green dots fading in and out into oblivion. clear sky, lush velvet floor spreading infinitely. Fresh smell of mud. I was performing within. The set was just perfect.
And then an hr later, I want to replicate that what I experienced in my theatre setting.
What you feel at the moment is almost impossible to regenerate. Actors would beg to differ. yea yea, yea.
In this unique setting, I play with Confinement. Open space, the bright green, moving dots light my performing space. You see only what you can, only what you wish, only what you'd like to.
Vision as a mode of confinement. To allow the eye to grasp max information within a specified time frame, aids the mind to work with choosing what is more imp to retain at that particular moment.
Oh dear MinMina poochee where do you come from?
Bzzzz... they flutter at an even pace. Random specs of bright green dots fading in and out into oblivion. clear sky, lush velvet floor spreading infinitely. Fresh smell of mud. I was performing within. The set was just perfect.
And then an hr later, I want to replicate that what I experienced in my theatre setting.
What you feel at the moment is almost impossible to regenerate. Actors would beg to differ. yea yea, yea.
In this unique setting, I play with Confinement. Open space, the bright green, moving dots light my performing space. You see only what you can, only what you wish, only what you'd like to.
Vision as a mode of confinement. To allow the eye to grasp max information within a specified time frame, aids the mind to work with choosing what is more imp to retain at that particular moment.
Oh dear MinMina poochee where do you come from?
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Exploring C...
bells and feet in a conversation with each other. Brisk and soft, in constant rhythm
That one song is stuck in my head: such a lovely song and I can see Bridget with her lovely almond shaped eyes move ...
There is a melodic dialogue between the 2 female voices right here, in the corner.
Percussive legs support the aura being created...
At the end of it all, I always ask,what is the ulterior motif to doing whatever we want to do. Here I am so drawn to the concept and idea of C. Why? Circumstances, experiences that drives us all to focus on certain things at certain stages of our lives.
Is confinement a perception? a state? Contentment to confinement: Oh ofocourse it is possible. Its the choices you make perhaps?
melting vs frozen, tar-like. Energy confined within each cell, provides disciplined functioning of the body.
'Contain your energy' helps you to reach a stable state.
Confined to light: shadows of green, blue, red. I am engaged in a playful game almost with the rays of colored light. Only parts of the body awaken to each light. Evokes mixed feelings.. I have to expt with it to figure it out..
That one song is stuck in my head: such a lovely song and I can see Bridget with her lovely almond shaped eyes move ...
There is a melodic dialogue between the 2 female voices right here, in the corner.
Percussive legs support the aura being created...
At the end of it all, I always ask,what is the ulterior motif to doing whatever we want to do. Here I am so drawn to the concept and idea of C. Why? Circumstances, experiences that drives us all to focus on certain things at certain stages of our lives.
Is confinement a perception? a state? Contentment to confinement: Oh ofocourse it is possible. Its the choices you make perhaps?
melting vs frozen, tar-like. Energy confined within each cell, provides disciplined functioning of the body.
'Contain your energy' helps you to reach a stable state.
Confined to light: shadows of green, blue, red. I am engaged in a playful game almost with the rays of colored light. Only parts of the body awaken to each light. Evokes mixed feelings.. I have to expt with it to figure it out..
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Nine'9
nAVARASAs
... ... ... lives
''''''''' deaths
///////// births
Its 3PM and my mind is bouncing around with evenness. Thoughts about Mehfil flash through. Something felt incomplete. Thats how I'm 'wired' ha! I chuckled. Hmmm I-90 seemed very calm, 9 cars whiz past me. Am I that slow??
In sets of 3 I re-visit the newly composed teehayis I just made at Noon. Today feels fruitful...
I ended with 9 + 9 sets + 4 more laps
There's something about 9. I'm planning on something very random, to explore the concept of 9. All of a sudden, nine colors, 9 bodies, 9 emotions intertwined with my favorite nine Raagas.
Is this number it..?
... ... ... lives
''''''''' deaths
///////// births
Its 3PM and my mind is bouncing around with evenness. Thoughts about Mehfil flash through. Something felt incomplete. Thats how I'm 'wired' ha! I chuckled. Hmmm I-90 seemed very calm, 9 cars whiz past me. Am I that slow??
In sets of 3 I re-visit the newly composed teehayis I just made at Noon. Today feels fruitful...
I ended with 9 + 9 sets + 4 more laps
There's something about 9. I'm planning on something very random, to explore the concept of 9. All of a sudden, nine colors, 9 bodies, 9 emotions intertwined with my favorite nine Raagas.
Is this number it..?
Sunday, June 10, 2007
caught
Funny how the mind works.. gosh my own brain- emotion vs thoughts: my own expt. Quite fascinating I must say.
Just makes me feel that much more proud of the human species. Such complicated beings. ofcourse I'd always claim to be a 'simple' human.
Some thgts , concepts to ponder:
barter system.. Edamame-- your precious child crawling on your back as you laze arnd
investing time
I've a new piece at brewing at the back of my head...
Within/without: self awareness. Its importance.
Just makes me feel that much more proud of the human species. Such complicated beings. ofcourse I'd always claim to be a 'simple' human.
Some thgts , concepts to ponder:
barter system.. Edamame-- your precious child crawling on your back as you laze arnd
investing time
I've a new piece at brewing at the back of my head...
Within/without: self awareness. Its importance.
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