Sunset

crisp white sand melts through my toes, the comfortably cold feel beneath my soles.
It was a picture perfect moment.. I stood there and in the center in front of me, a distant bright red dot, sank down silently. I dance with the water and the wind making random shapes in the sand and I'm sprinkled with cool salty water that swept off my feet to save it from a jelly-fish's sting.. so perfect.
Does this paradise really exist?
Just as the sun sank down, my heart melts inside with a single gaze into that pair of caramel tinted hypnotizing circles... I can gaze into them forever and I've my perfect sunset moment again.....

Game of Chess

OOO how exciting!!! each of us are these lil pawns scurring around . Ever so strategically _ hops onto the squares, blinded by two halogen 1000 watt bulbs shining in front of the house. Only one knight, only one horse, only one swan, only one king, queen..
You finally witness... ahh queezy feelings and countless "if only"....
I am comfortable. This should not end, let this be my never ending chess-game: My move-ur move-my move -ur move ... and then_____ our move? My knight, my pawn, my bishop, my king, my queen all have multiple options to move ahead to its destination; must I choose my destination?
Complexities mixed in a bowl of quite obvious simplicities.. oh c'mon, else everything's so boring!

She unveils

I question why me. WHY ME?
I call upon Mama, give me strength, and I hear her say ," you can do it, everything will be o.k."
I want to cherish it, I want to hide it and I show off something else
There are reasons i guess, and I should allow all that is happening to happen as it IS meant to be..
I am sad..
Yet, I am secretly happy..
They come to me for answers.. I love it! Oh But who will asnwer my questions, my wishes... I thought I knew.
They are so oblivious of their impact to thy's existance, thy's mind.
Ah but I MUST unveil...........

The Silent Warrior

In this battle field, I fought relentlessly, yet with full intention and passion. I shall not let it be...
I admit, he is selfish.
I admit, she loves every human she connects with, with equal desire to have them in her space.
I admit, he is blunt.
I admit, she is not insecure.
I admit, he always gives, gives, gives......
I admit
I was your silent warrior
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In exhaustion, the mind finally relaxes with pride as she witnesses them surrender....

Have I 'won'?
I was your silent warrior.

Timing

I wait and listen, and ponder.
Listen to what? Choices one makes consciously. I have always said I control decisions and changes I make to my life, but what is it that makes me choose those things? Its quite unbelievable to me that what was not meant to happen in my life, WILL not happen. Yes, I' lean towards fate.. I smile in glee with faint sparkles in my eye..
LIFE- soo thrilling, so much to learn , all of you out there, we learn and understand from each other..
Perhaps one day you might realize what you missed, I hope that day never exists....
I wish them good luck__

LIFE is too short. My advice, my belief, follow your instinct & desire with complete awareness and you shall not be disappointed.

Distance-I love mah sis

Together from that very moment we were created.. 2 eggs rolling around this secure world, and it continued. With her, life has felt like a rollar coaster.. we shared energy. We fought so much.
Suddenly I am distant.
Finally everything feels right and appropriate. Darn it! It should have been this way all along! Am I the older one just coz I got to c the world 1 minute more??? I see her NEW world, Ooh gosh its sooo cool, Im sooo soo excited for her!
Ah but ofcourse, and so became the 'risk taker', the one who rebels.. who taught and tried everything before she trots in to "check" it out.. Oh I love my dear sis- you smarty pants.
When i was exploring x y x a dv c s..... there she was silently watching & doing her own thing, alone. Was she waiting for me to pick up the phone and talk to her??
So at ease with her solitude, her sole existance.. It gotta be genetic, she nailed it at birth! And through my journey I see every one around me struggling to get there... *sigh*
I'm finally nailing it . Whew!
I have a huge happy grin, large 'saucer' eyes welled with salty h2o and endless memories as I begin to..... zzz..

My love to you always

To Jacob

Stout, warm, strong, muscular,funny, blonde, cute.. for some odd reason his face flashed through my sub-conscious mind approx 2-3 weeks ago as I was trying hard to recollect his name. Now as I look back, was my mind trying to tell me something??
I finally saw just his name, Jake as he was called affectionately,only pictures and the scent of lavender oil burning next to them with a note 'his last breath was 2 weeks ago'
Since 2000, we've danced here and there through classes, Cornish, workshops.. and one day I stopped seeing him in class. I always remembered him. Its funny how some people create an impact in some odd way in your life. I would never want anyone so young get cursed with diebetes,,,
In loving memory, Dear Jake-whereever you might be, I believe you are happiest there....